A married couple rushed to the hospital
A married couple rushed to the hospital because the woman was in labor the doctor asked the couple, “I have invented a new machine that you...
Funny Tumblr Jokes
Over breakfast one morning
Over breakfast one morning, a woman said to her husband, “I bet you don’t know what day this is.” “Of course I do,” he irritatingly answered,...
John and Jessica were on their way home from the bar
John and Jessica were on their way home from the bar one night and John got pulled over by the police. The officer told John that...
A man’s been driving around a crowded parking
A man’s been driving around a crowded parking lot trying to find a place to park.“Lord,” he prayed, “I can’t take this any longer. If you...
A burglar entered into a religious woman’s house
Once a wealthy old religious woman caught a burglar ransacking her things. She had lived her whole life as a celibate, almost like a nun. ”Listen...
An inmate appeals for parole
Judge: Why should you be granted parole? Inmate: Within the several years that I’ve served, I have… Judge: What have you learned thus far during your...
Second grade teacher asks her class
Second grade teacher asks her class to use the word “definitely” in a sentenceLittle Johnny raises his hand. The teacher calls on him. He asks “Teacher,...
A man lays sprawled across three entire seats at a posh theatre
A man lays sprawled across three entire seats at a posh theatre. Before the show has even started, an usher walks by and notices the man....
A woman was notified that her grandmother
A woman was notified that her grandmother just passed away and left her a big inheritance. The instruction were, “My dear I left you some money...
The doctor had just completed his examination
The doctor had just completed his examination of the gorgeous red-haired beauty. “I would suggest to you, young lady,” began the medic, as he regained some...