My wife just broke up with her boyfriend

“My marriage is on the rocks again. Yeah..

My wife just broke up with her boyfriend.”

“My friends and I played a new version of Russian roulette.

We passed around six girls and one of them had VD.”

“I went to see my doctor… Doctor Vidi-boom-ba.

Yeah… I told him once… Doctor… Every morning when I get up

and look in the mirror.. I feel like throwing up;

what’s wrong with me? He said.. I don’t know but

your eyesight is perfect”

“I remember when I swallowed a bottle of sleeping pills.

My doctor told me to have a few drinks and get some rest.”

“I told my dentist my teeth are going yellow.

He told me to wear a brown necktie.”

“My dentist has bad breath……

Why every time he smokes he blows onion rings.”

“My psychiatrist told me I’m going crazy.

I told him… If you don’t mind I’d like a second opinion…

He said… Alright… You’re ugly too!”

“I was so ugly… My mother used to feed me with a slingshot!”